In this, the year of our lord 2019, very few games have incited the deep, existential pondering over their respective premises as has been the case with indie developer 34BigThings' upcoming shooter, Goat of Duty. There is just... So much to unpack here.
My immediate reaction was to assume that this was another entry in the cult-adjacent Goat Simulator Saga, because surely the goat niche was only big enough to be accommodate one studio as its' keeper. To my continued shock, however, Goat of Duty is in no way attached to the Goat Simulator "brand"(?) and is actually a separate entity that actual human minds conceptualized into a game. Possibly the most informing aspect of this revelation is the fact that Goats are like a thing, I guess.
As the title implies, Goat of Duty takes the fast-paced shoot-'em'up formula of another prominent, similarly named franchise and, for reasons unknown, injects it with goats to make something truly horrific. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the purpose of combining these two otherwise unrelated elements was to create some sort of hyper-obscure, satirical commentary on dude-bro culture. Judging from the recently released trailer commemorating Goat of Duty's launch into early access, it's not far from that mark.
According to the official press release, Goat of Duty is "a fast-paced multiplayer shooter where goats armed to the horns bleat face to face in a relentless deathmatch. Ram and troll your friends, don the craziest goatstumes, and put your skills to the test in the quirkiest FPS ever." In terms of narrative, the folks at 343bigthings aren't shying away from the fact that this is an absurd premise with no viable backstory to explain it.
In the grim darkness of the distant future, there are only goats. It all started with a freak nuclear accident that gave all goats the necessary intelligence to quickly overthrow their human owners with their powerful rams, high jumps, and ear-blowing bleats. No, wait, that wasn’t it. The goats were intelligent from the very beginning, but since they had no thumbs, they waited patiently for humanity to develop automated robots capable of producing what they needed in order to... No, that doesn’t work either. In an alternate universe, goats are the mightiest warriors of the... OK, look, we admit it. There’s no lore here. You are a goat. You’re armed to the teeth (well, the horns). There are other goats out there who want to kill you. It’s as simple as that. Now go out there and show 'em what you’ve goat.
Goatstumes to decorate your war hero, because why not.
Honestly, it's probably best that we don't over-intellectualize things. It's a game about goats murdering each other in the most gruesome of fashions, but like, in a fun, physics defying way.
Goat of Duty's early access is available for purchase onSteam, and is currently running a special promotion for 15% off until July 17th.